Finding Love

A short story

Jyoti sat near the window, wondering when Kabir would nap. He was relentless. She could hardly breathe with him around.

Her days were moments of loneliness and melancholy stringed together in an unending loop. Monday or Friday, it hardly mattered anymore. Thousands of miles way from the country she called home, Jyoti felt the pangs of nostalgia often.

Kabir, her 1-year-old, didn’t bring any joy to her. Stress yes, happiness no. In addition to the helplessness she experienced throughout the day. Everybody around wanted her to feel the ecstasy that must accompany a birth. But she had tried hard and now she was just tired. Tired of repeating the same activities from morning until night. She hardly slept in peace. Rohit tried his best to help but he wasn’t trained in most of the chores. Well, she was neither.

But as has been the story of most households in a patriarchal society, this one was no different. Jyoti’s heart was full of such grudges against the world and her partner. He was her “savior” here in this part of the world and she never wanted one. Never desired one, never dreamt of one. So she could never appreciate one.

Rohit, on the other hand, had tried everything possible to learn about Jyoti’s challenges as a new mother. He researched on postpartum and infants. But he had to keep the house running so couldn’t take out much time from his 15-hour shift everyday, six days a week.

Jyoti often thought of her days in Bhopal. The close friends circle she had created in the two years she worked there, the kind colleagues who would go beyond their means to help her and her warm close-knit family in Banaras. She missed the familiarity of the two cities that had shaped her.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“The doorbell isn’t working?” Jyoti wondered.

As she opened the door, an old lady put her face right in front of her. She had a big smile and looked Mexican. Her dress was tasteful and the dark brown hair had a shine.

“Hello Miss. I am Maria. The nanny? My English not strong. But I understand all,” she said.

Jyoti gave her a look and then nodded.

“Please come in,” she responded. She had found Maria’s contact on a social media website for house help in her area. Her reviews were great and Jyoti had chosen her relying on her resemblance to one of Jyoti’s aunts in India.

The first thing Maria did after entering the flat was pick Kabir up from the floor and express her joy.

“Lovely boy. Look at that dark hair. I will oil it each day Miss,” she commented.

Jyoti laughed and asked Maria if she wanted water. Maria strolled across to the kitchen and said, “Miss you sit now. Tell me about your day. We make plan and you do what you want to.”

In a month’s time, Kabir and Maria became inseparable. They would eat together, go for walks and nature hunts, play hide and seek, sing Spanish songs and take naps together.

Maria was a miracle. After months of therapy, Jyoti was on the verge of giving up when she had arrived on the scene. It was sheer luck that Rohit could afford childcare. His firm was one of the few that provided decent childcare support to its employees.

Jyoti’s struggle with her mental health, combined with Rohit’s built-up frustration, had turned into a lethal combination. The couple often ended up arguing and then dismissing each other in anger. Both felt they were misunderstood and rarely interacted with love or care in their voices.

Until Maria arrived, Jyoti and Rohit were not even sleeping in the same bed anymore. Maria changed it all. When Kabir was with her, they could sit down and talk to each other without any stress. They were able to take a break as parents and bond as a couple.

With cameras installed in the house, they even starting going out on dates regularly to rekindle their romance. Kabir was hardly spending time with Jyoti but he was happy. And healthy. That’s what mattered most to her.

Jyoti couldn’t believe the amount of time she had to herself now. Apart from cooking and basic cleaning, she was able to reignite her passion for reading and devoted a chunk of her day to learning and updating herself as a writer.

Another month passed and Jyoti was able to fit in yoga into her schedule and chatting with her friends and family in India. She decided to visit the library with Maria and Kabir on the weekends, which turned into the best weekends ever. Each Sunday, they packed a small picnic and chose a new trail or park. Rohit also got a day to himself when he would either invite his friends over or visit them.

A few more months passed. Jyoti was now working part time and Kabir’s second birthday was approaching fast. One afternoon, as she was busy planning for the big day, Maria came to her, almost in tears.

“What happened Maria?” Jyoti sounded alarmed.

“Miss I must leave.”

“Oh alright. Anything urgent? You need any help? Money?”

“No, I don’t leave for now. I leave forever.”

“What? What does that mean? You want to leave the job?”

Maria looked sad and worried. She thought for a second and then looked at Jyoti.

“You know what Kabir said today?”

“What?”

“He was upset and crying loudly so I said let’s go to Mamma. When I said the words, he hugged me tight and said I am his Mamma. Miss, he said I am his Mamma.”

Jyoti didn’t understand.

Maria continued, “You see he forget his Mamma and now thinks I am his Mamma. This is no good Miss. I must leave. Before he turn away from you.”

Jyoti realized now what Maria meant. But she was overreacting wasn’t she? Of course Kabir would think of her as his other Mamma. Maria loved him like her own son and it was visible in everything she did for him.

Jyoti tried to reason with her but Maria wouldn’t budge. It seemed like she knew what she was doing.

“It’s heartbreaking for me when a mother and child not bond. I always a mother, even as a kid myself. Growing up, I help many Mammas to find love — for their child and more importantly — for themselves. These days they call it self love. I call it love within. I help ladies rediscover the love after a baby. I see you have found that love again, for yourself. But now time to give it to Kabir too. When I came, you had no love to give. Today you have a lot. Share it with him now. And the husband too.”

Words failed Jyoti. She couldn’t believe that someone like Maria was so full of wisdom. With tears flooding her eyes, she hugged Maria tightly.

“You so beautiful and strong and smart. Always believe in yourself. Kabir brings joy and make you both complete. Make memories and spread the love. I have to now find another one to love,” Maria’s eyes were full of compassion as she kissed Jyoti’s forehead.

This post is written for StorytellersBlogHop Season 3 hosted by:

Ujjwal (https://mywordsmywisdom.com ) & MeenalSonal ( https://www.auraofthoughts.com )